Tuesday, July 28, 2015

When the World Tilts

Once in awhile my world tilts; it usually happens when I have a serious WTF moment. Yesterday was like that when I opened up Facebook to find a message that simply said " We've lost Heather." When I read those words the world wobbled and shifted. She was gone from this mortal plane at the age of 36.  I tried to remember what I was doing at that age.

She was one of the original group I fell in with from CovenSpace. It seems so long ago now. They say time speeds up as you get older. It feels like those people have been in my life forever. We don't communicate as much as we used to, but we are still a part of the tapestry of each others lives. We still care. Occasionally we post comments on the vast time-suck that is Facebook to one another. It's good to be a part of something larger than yourself. It's good to know we have those silver threads to anchor us, even as Life has it's way.

Over the years Heather and I messaged back and forth over mundane and magickal things. Most of it bat-related as of late. She loved bats and so do I. She loved them for their relationship to Nightkind;
I love them for their part in Nature as pollinators. Besides, they're seriously furry and cute and their huge eyes make them irresistible. I am hooked on bats. Heather and I shared a love of vampires and the culture surrounding The Craft. We exchanged ideas for artsy-fartsy things. She was also a talented amateur  photographer and had a genuine eye for detail. Photography was something I dabbled in years ago; I still have my Nikon SLR camera tucked away in the back of a closet. I'd been thinking about digging it out at Heather's urging. Now I feel like I owe it to her to try.

Her half-crazed familiar Fury was one of her ( and my) favorite subjects.He's sleek and expressive. One of my favorite photos from Heather is Fury fast asleep on top of a door. Last week, right after Heather died her husband posted that Fury was sitting in the window waiting for her to come home.
I would have been disappointed to hear anything less.

Over this past week I put up a memorial (group) page for Heather on Facebook, and all of her friends-online and real time-pulled into a cohesive community. Everyone is still in shock at her bright light being extinguished so suddenly and we'd all like to have that one chance to tell her how much we cared. Instead, we're telling each other how much it hurts to have her missing in our lives. We make posts to her on the page, telling her how much we love her and what we will miss about having her in our lives. Sharing in this way helps to take the edge off the pain because we know we aren't alone in our confusion, anger and pain. We hurt as a whole and grieve deeply as individuals. We post memes we know she would squealed with delight at seeing and poetry/essays/songs she would have loved. And quietly, we sit behind our computer screens and shed a tear or smile and nod in agreement. Welcome to mourning in the digital age.

Those of us who share Heather's magickal and faith tradition know she's just across The Veil with the beloved dead and ancestors, and that she's begun an incredible journey of rebirth. So we continue to talk to her and look for little signs from her-white feathers,especially-and share a good cup of coffee.
We light candles to guide her and urge her to transcend to the next level of existence. We send flowers to her loved ones and words of comfort and encouragement. Other than that we are still broken-hearted and lost with too many questions. To be quite truthful, the answers might supply a momentarily satisfaction, but don't really matter in the larger picture. They never do, but it doesn't stop us from asking. There are no answers to some of Life's questions, like why Fate takes the turn it does sometimes.

Farewell and Godspeed, my little Witchling! Let love light your way to the stars!

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