Just As I Am

"I am but a drop in a vast sea of many; my existence only matters first and foremost to me. The sea is not more or less without me. The sea simply is." I remember this meditation from a workshop many years ago. My spiritual practice is reflective and admittedly rather Buddhist at times, but it is much more than that because I have incorporated wisdom from many different-and sometimes seemingly opposing-faith traditions. My practice is uniquely my own. It constantly changes. Above all, it is individual and private. And it is mine alone...without need for justification.

There is no need to promote my beliefs because I am not trying to create a faith tradition. What I do is what I do and what comes from that is ultimately who I am. I'm not trying to prove anything or impress anyone. I have no agenda in worshiping the way I do. It may sound trite, but I really am simply a traveler on the journey, and my chosen path is the route I follow. My main goal is to unravel this thing called Mystery and to understand a little more deeply what the Universe has in store for me.  I do that by using many different tools and methods; my approach is eclectic. It's not for everyone, nor do I expect it to be.

I don't feel an urgency to define myself or my spiritual practice. If anything I will call myself a Pagan, because I'm certainly no longer Christian, although my fondness for ritual was forged within that particular liturgy. I am more than a bit of a Gnostic because I have no problem reconciling  Monotheism and Polytheism, as well as Theism, Deism, Pantheism, Animism and Humanism. I believe all of these things are important at various times in exploring the Great Mystery. Much of that is tempered with a heavy dose of Jungian thought and analytical psychology.

Because I believe wisdom comes from many sources, I also believe that no one religion or philosophy has all the answers. I do subscribe to the duality of the feminine and masculine divine, and I will personify those when it feels appropriate using the mythology of various gods and goddesses from world's diverse pantheons.

The point I am trying to make is that whatever you do, your expression of spirituality is geared specifically to your personal needs. It doesn't have to follow anyone else's creed or rede to be valid. What is right for you is legitimate and authentic- and no one else need approve. My belief is that if you do whatever you do with integrity. you need not fit anyone else's ethic. Matters of individual conduct need only be limited by the moral standard of "harm none" and be loosely approved by the mores of a polite society.

Therefore I don't often engage in conversation about my personal spiritual beliefs, because, well...they are personal. That's not to say that I won't share my beliefs with someone when sincerely asked, it means I don't feel I need to go about shouting about them. And to be truthful, I really don't care what the next person does or doesn't do, or who they worship or what they believe because it is simply none of my business... frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn unless you are going about causing egress harm to others. If you are blowing up buildings or hijacking airplanes, or trying to legislate your religion into law, I will take notice and action, but really, other than that, I am too busy tending my own garden...and I believe it should be this way. Seriously, everyone needs to just leave everyone else alone and stop the name calling because this isn't kindergarten. Picking at old scabs will never allow wounds to heal.

What has lead to this treatise is the recent grandiose bellowing of several individuals in our community about who they believe themselves to be and what they believe in and call themselves...and my answer is a rather blase, " Who cares?" I'm trying to understand why that should matter or affect me. Who the hell else should care, really? I am satisfied, I am happy, and I am enough.
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[Point of reference, I posted about this same issue over two years ago here: http://amethjera.blogspot.com/search?q=pagan+enough]