Indwelling

Tree Tunnel, Irish Countryside by Pathfinder

There are two stereotypes the Irish are famous for: drinking to excess and internal reflection. Having considered the merits of both, I realize one can be responsible for the other and visa versa. Not quite a teetotaler myself, I wholly reject the first while happily reclaiming the second.

If I had to call my style of reflection anything, I'd say I was a Caitlin Matthews with just a smattering of John O' Donohue kinda gal with just a pinch of Thich Nhat Hanh thrown in for good measure. A little bit Brigit and a little bit Buddha.



From a psychological view I see most 'deep thinkers' as self-absorbed, pretentious narcissists-particularly those in our Pagan community. You've seen the type: the  floor-length robed Dumbledore-wannabe armed with a dusty, arcane volume of some ancient  tome that addresses what is 'pagan proper' in every situation, or the Hot Topic pseudo- Goth just out of their teens who has explored their spirituality for a hot minute though a long-lost, dog-eared copy of The Dungeons and Dragons Users Manual by Pooh. I eschew both like I do a rabid raccoon because the eerie glow emitted from their eyes frightens me.

Thinking deeply, however, is much different, it's the thing you do when you realize there is something more and a better understanding of  things that affect you. I have created a meditative place of trans-personal exploration for myself  which I have named the Place of Deep Indwelling. 
I can best describe it as a portion of  astral space which specifically belongs to the individual seeker who created it. Timeless and limitless, it is sanctuary in which to simply exist. It's the place where my 16-year old self coincides with  my Crone. It holds both my child's wonder and ancestor's wisdom. It's boundary keeps changing. At times I visualize it as time sitting in a rocking chair by the fire in a remote cabin, my personal 'white room', or  a dark underground grotto within my cosmic being. It is where I need to be at the moment when I need to think; it is the place where I truly live.It is a place of my own invention, although I believe we all have it.  I reside there when I want to figure out where I'm going next in my life, where I go to remind myself that I am not my circumstances, where I take my disappointment in others-and often myself-for reconciliation, where bygone days and memory are momentarily the present once more. The Place of Deep Indwelling is my plasma core and spiritual nuclear reactor or  a cool, quiet cave for my spirit.

The Place of Deep Indwelling is where I am most myself without being afraid. It is my ultimate comfort... and sometimes my own personal hell, where I wrestle with demons of my own creation that have followed me there.It is the Place of Presence. It is where I truly am when I am not caught up in the drama of society,  melded into the lives of others, or slaying the dragons of the everyday world. It is my fortress and it is where I shut the door on The World and all that is in it- and breathe a sigh of relief.  It is my Rabbit Hole http://www.whatthebleep.com/rabbithole/.

When I emerge from this place of indwelling, I feel restored and able to once again dive into the stream of life, where I can swim with the other fish of my kind. I am hopefully a little calmer and kinder, but I am always more aware of my surroundings and situations around me. I am more greatly empathic than normal. Perhaps I am more sympathetic as well.

Indwelling, at least for me, is a spiritual practice that grounds and centers me in the real world. I have found that it also enhances my magick. It is where I most identify with my 'paganess', where the wild and uninhibited self is unfettered by societal convention, and it is where I proclaim my Great I Am Who I Am.