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The NeoPagan community has always been passionate about emotional expression. The discussions are lively, spirited and often controversial. I like a good conversation, even when opinions conflict as long as it is civil and done respectfully. I try to operate from a place of compassion when the conversation turns serious and I will confess now that I don't always achieve that standard because, yes, I am just that much of a sassy smartass at times. There is a time and place for snark, and most of us have not yet mastered it to the level of brilliance of the late George Carlin (Look him up on YouTube if the name doesn't ring a bell; just so you know, he's not PC. I make no apologies for him). Our attempts at coolness, or whatever we're calling it this week, often come off flat... or worse, make us look like obnoxious middle school twits. Which is why I am a big fan of writing in a pragmatic tone. There are less misunderstandings that way.
Social media and blogging has been a two-edged sword since their inception. More that ever, it is possible to simply type a few sentences and hit 'post' or 'publish'. What you thought was a deeply thought provoking or a witty come back has not only gone out to the audience you intended,but seen by everyone else. It often takes on a life of its own as it ripples out into cyberspace much like the proverbial pebble tossed into a pond. And more often than not you end up making yourself look like a jackass. Not only does what you send out keep going and going, it be there forever. So think,Gentle People, just think before you hit that button. Anytime you post a comment to the Internet, you are unwittingly creating your verbal legacy. The old saying that "words have power" and the accompanying admonishment to choose them wisely has never been more true than when applied to expressing your opinion online. And no matter how proficient you are at linguistic expression, no matter how well you color your words, they still have the potential to be misunderstood because all of us process information differently. Our points of reference are unique to ourselves; no one thinks just like you although we may agree on many of those points.
To quote Sunweaver, the Pagan blogsphere has become toxic. Especially, I believe, as of late. Too many of the conversations are disrespectful, negative and intolerant. There are entirely too many personal attacks. The conversation has turned into a contest to see who can scream their pet agenda the loudest. (It reminds me of a bunch of teenage thugs standing on the street corner, hurling insults to out-rank the other;" I'm a devotee of the Great God Horshack. Up your nose with a rubber hose!") When did we become so threatened and fearful that we needed to turn on each another? The arguments aren't even about occult, magickal or spiritual practice - they are about things like gender, which to me is beyond preposterous. Why are we so damn concerned with the sexual identification of someone we aren't likely to ever be having sex with anyway? As a biological woman I have never felt threatened in any way by another woman, trans or otherwise. Women's Mysteries are no different than other Mysteries: they are there to be discovered and experienced. Who the hell am I to refuse anyone a place at the table of the Goddess anyway? Being a priestess doesn't give me that prerogative. None of us are that special. Surely the Goddess is inside that other person as much as She is in me, because we are all seekers. The genetics of a particular individual will not dilute Women's Mysteries, and if you think it will, then I humbly suggest you stop polluting the Divine with pithy human projections. We all stand at the gateway of Wonder, and we all are clad in the same robes. Entering the sixth decade of my life I'm pretty sure I know who I am by now. I've put a lot of work into becoming the person I am today. I am comfortable and confident in the woman I am. And then... there are the individuals who have announced they are no longer Pagan, which is usually said in a tone of voice that indicates that somehow they are taking a turn to a higher road the rest of us have missed. To be quite blunt...who cares anyway? I do agree that there are days when the voices blend into so much babbling that the noise becomes too loud; I too, just want to turn off the noise. It gets to me. I want to unplug because my ears are ringing. I empathize with those who want to disconnect out of weariness and frustration. Today I am right there with them, because I, too, am tired of the Pagan Snark Fest. Elvis is not the only one who wants to leave the building. Sigh.
Sometimes I need to step back, sit down and make some popcorn. Other times I want to walk away mumbling a plaintive,"Fuck this" to myself. But...I can't. I simply can't because for me being Pagan isn't about other people. It's about who I am at the intersection of all the parts of my existence. It's about how things have come together and the synergy of my life. It's about how I express my spirituality. It is about what I hold sacred. It's about how I understand my relationship to the Divine in its many forms. It's about how I view the world through the lens of The Craft. I am not going to engage in pretentious posturing about who and what is Pagan, because deep down, I can only define that for me. As disappointed and outright disgusted as I occasionally get about the behavior of others in our community, I have to continually remind myself that I can't change them. I can change only me. Eventually I'll get over it. I am so deeply vested in this form of religious expression and spirituality that I cannot leave now and remain true to who I have become. I don't want to leave; I want to expand, to take all the beauty and sorrow, the good and the not so good within me and return whatever I can that might be beneficial to the Universe. I want to keep learning and perfecting my Craft. Over time and self-examination my definition of who I am is more realistically like the Egyptian Negative Confession formed by who I am not. I have run the list of checks and balances, and the balances are still more plentiful. Don't like to call yourself Pagan or NeoPagan? Fine. Find something that suits you or invent another word; but be aware that the world will still call you the standard umbrella definition of Pagan, because the world doesn't cater to individual preferences. That's YOUR world, where you can be whomever you want to be. Personally, I don't like or dislike the words Pagan or NeoPagan. While I don't think either are perfect fit, it's what we have to work with for now and who we will be continue to be identified as by the mainstream.
Let's move beyond the negativity, folks. We have become sick from it. Let's have discussions instead of flame fests. Put something beneficial or at least positive out there. It may sound corny, but let's speak love, compassion and tolerance and mean it. We can agree to disagree and still allow everyone to retain their dignity. If we continue the current trend, we will destroy our own culture. And there will be no one else to blame but ourselves.
The link to Sunweaver's insightful post is found here:
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/agora/2015/11/making-light-the-pagan-blogosphere-is-toxic/#disqus_thread
I agree, especially with your reasons as to why you can't just walk away from it. I've had many of the same conversations in my head and have come to the same conclusions. I've been working all year on changing myself, on being the change that I want to see in the world. But it does wear and tear on you, and it's okay to rant once in a while. But it's not okay to throw away the progress--my progress, otherwise what have I learned?
ReplyDeleteI have found that if something bothers you, the best way to handle it is to make a change within yourself. Change your position or your perspective, but you're not going to change anyone else. At best you may influence a few people, but basically,yes, you're going to have to be the change you want to see. Ranting is the pressure valve, and it's okay if you don't make a habit of it.Too much ranting makes you ineffective and invisible because you'll be ignored. A carefully placed rant is not a bad thing. Progress moves you forward or parallel, both are beneficial in their place. Thank you for reading my blog!
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