Shadows

Image/Heather Gleason

I began my sixth decade in mid-March with emergency heart surgery that sidelined me for the last few months while I went to rehab and physical therapy. Through that time, I have lived in the shadows: not quite fully in this world, but not in the next ( for now, thankfully). Now I'm anxious to reclaim my life and routine, yet I have one more task- I need to move to be near my doctors and to keep the insurance that will pay for medications, continuing medical care. There are few resources where I currently live. It's a very mundane thing, but it affects everything-physical, mental and spiritual. To be honest, I've been considering making a move for over a year before this happened. I love the countryside-but I am too far away from everything for my own comfort. I want to be able to walk to the store and around the block for a cup of coffee and to read a magazine, something that is impossible to do where I currently reside. I guess I really am a Vestal Virgin, as my friend Joe used to say.

I wish I could say that I'm sorry to be leaving the little mountain town I've called home for nearly four years, but the fact is that with the infrastructure crumbling as quickly as it is (and the townsfolk being in denial of this), it's no longer a desirable or viable place to live.   If I miss anything about it, it will be the countryside; I've learned a lot, first hand, about Appalachian folkways, and particularly about the magic and rootwork of the area. The place I'm thinking of moving to  will be a little farther North, to West Virginia...I'll still be living in the mountains, but in an urban area (as far west as I have ever permanently lived) in a town with considerably more and better infrastructure- and a better attitude. I have been here long enough to know that everything that goes with living in the South will still prevail, but it will be tempered by liberal thinking and reason, due mainly to the diversity of population.

Life right now is certainly Zen-light and dark. I've seen both sides dramatically illustrated most recently, and happily, I am able to move between them with little discomfort, although I'm still trying to figure out the details of moving at a time when I am mentally but not financially ready. I can totally freak out and say things are falling apart, but to be honest, I think it's more like they're falling into place, so that keeps panic in check. And...I'm still a witch. Nothing has changed that, other than right now I have had to pull a little more from Universal energy than I normally do.

But with renewed vigor, I am ready to reclaim my power. Using the gifts of magick, I'm putting together a spell for the best outcome. Magickal needs often have roots in the mundane, so I have a lot to consider- finances, housing, moral support; finding a way to get my belongings, my cat and myself to the new location. And then...life afterwards. I don't like the process of moving or being uprooted. I know some of that comes from the fact that I am a creature of habit-I like my routine. I don't like change, even though I am resigned to the inevitability of it. I like being in control of things as much as possible.

I've put a lot of consideration into this situation, and just to check myself ( because we all have doubts) I've discussed it with quite a few people over the last few months...all of whom have weighed the facts, and whom have come to the same conclusion I have: It will be difficult, but it will be for the best. It will be hard, but the pros outweigh the cons, and now...it is necessary. So much for being in control. Beyond the advise of mortals, I've sought the counsel of my patron deities and Ancestors. They too have presented similar answers...it must be. And so, I shall.

Sigh...They say that Life is an adventure. To quote Bear Grylls,Author and  Host of the BBC TV series Man vs. Wild :" To me, adventure has always been the connections and bounds you create with people when you're there. And you can have that anywhere." 

My part in this, as far as I can tell, is to be up to the challenge and keep the fire burning. I am as good at tending fires as putting them out ( being a devotee of Brigid, A Scouter, and an EMT/firefighter has come in handy, it seems!) So as I gather the proverbial wood with which to build my new home, I'm making a lot of offerings and prayers, too. If nothing else, I have learned over the course of my years to be persistent. And I am a stalwart believer in the promise and love of the Immanent Divine.Meanwhile, I'm going through everything in the apartment, decluttering,packing up what I want and need while I continue to apartment hunt. wish me luck. It's never easy to move.