On Being Pagan

We live in a constantly evolving Universe.  Change goes on within and all around us all the time. We are forever in a state of flux. Our personal beliefs and cosmologies change. I don't see  things in exactly the same way that I did 20 years ago because I'm a different person today than I was then. Things change, and that's okay. Because really? In the larger scheme of things  we don't have a choice in the matter. Acceptance of that tiny fact is the first step to integration and growth.
 
Depending on whatever new I learn, my opinion about people, situations and how things are  re-formulated. My thoughts about things evolves as I incorporate new knowledge into my understanding.  I am not the same person I was even five minutes ago on a molecular level. The world is not the same as it was yesterday. This is factual and born out by the saying" The Truth is not what you see, but what you believe about what you see." Your  viewpoint isn't the truth, but it is your truth. Belief is merely an assumption.

Pagans (for the most part) are particularly analytical people. We are experts at deconstruction. What it seems we aren't very good at is knowing the difference between authentic examination and tearing things apart-including and especially, each other. This, in my humble opinion, is why we have the same conversations over and over about defining who is Pagan and who gets to play in our sandbox. And I have to admit, I often wonder why this is so important to know in order to determine what we stand for morally and ethically. I suppose there is an argument about knowing who you are before undertaking an action, but personally,  I believe right action should take place no matter who you are.

Talking about whether we engage in right action because we are human or because we are spiritual is a chicken versus egg argument. To quote Buckminister Fuller, " We're all passengers on Spaceship Earth." [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buckminster_Fuller ]. The compassion we have for one another, especially for the suffering of others, and the way in which we respond in helping them to come out of that suffering is something that stems from empathy. We relate to how it feels because we can put ourselves in that place. In that instance, what we call ourselves doesn't matter. By nature, humans are helpers at our most basic level; that's the way we are wired. We have a need to serve in the most beneficial and satisfying way for others and ourselves. While that may be influenced by our spiritual beliefs, for the most part it comes out of a concern for the welfare of others and the way we would like to be treated. Altruism is two sided and not entirely selfless: yes, we do want to help others, but in turn, should the need arise,we hope to be helped ourselves. The majority of us ascribe to the moral and societal rules of common decency, regardless of whether or not we believe in the existence of a deity.

In other words, it's not who you are, it's what you do that makes a difference in the world. To be perfectly blunt, the only person who should care about who you worship, or how you go about it is YOU.    It's not my place to tell you whether or not you are a Pagan. It's none of my business, because, you see...I don't care. Truly, I don't. I don't care if you venerate Wonder Woman as the Goddess, or believe the flying monkeys from the Wizard of Oz are angelic messengers, or see Imminent Divinity in the Titans.

If you do, then that's fine with me. You don't have to fit my personal definition of what is and isn't  Deity, and you don't have to buy into mine. As it's so often said,we can agree to disagree. I have enough on my plate dealing with defining and forming my own personal theology. I practice as I choose, when I am lead to do so by Spirit. I really don't owe any explanation of who or what I see as Divine, and I certainly have no need to justify my spiritual practice. I don't seek or need  the validation of others [http://amethjera.blogspot.com/2011/06/pagan-enough.html].  Take it and accept me for who I am or leave it and walk away. ( The only time I will call bullshit is if I see someone irrefutably  ripping someone else off).

You would  think  that as often  as  we have this conversation in our living rooms or  in the pub, the subject of "Who-is-and-isn't-a-Pagan" would  be a non-issue to the majority of  us by now.   I recognize that our community has exploded in numbers in recent years and there are a lot of new-comers at the table who may need to sort things out, but what I'm seeing isn't limited to that kind of spiritual formation. What I'm seeing is not only a lack of tolerance for diversity, it's exclusivity. It's widely understood that the word 'Pagan' is an umbrella term covering the many traditions and varieties of serving the gods. [ttp://www.incitingariot.com/p/project-pagan-enough.html] There are no membership  rules for who gets to join the 'club'.  So frankly, when I see someone appoint themselves as a gatekeeper for the community, I do think we need to react and disabuse the individual of that notion swiftly...Kudos to those who have done this respectably, such as  Jason Mankey [http://www.patheos.com/blogs/panmankey/ ] and the collective at Pagan Activist  [http://paganactivist.com/2013/06/16/standing-up-against-a-step-too-far/]. You can ask questions about someone's spirituality without questioning their practice.

Because, you see, as I've said before, it's my path, and I'll travel it my way, thank you very much.

Just As I Am

"I am but a drop in a vast sea of many; my existence only matters first and foremost to me. The sea is not more or less without me. The sea simply is." I remember this meditation from a workshop many years ago. My spiritual practice is reflective and admittedly rather Buddhist at times, but it is much more than that because I have incorporated wisdom from many different-and sometimes seemingly opposing-faith traditions. My practice is uniquely my own. It constantly changes. Above all, it is individual and private. And it is mine alone...without need for justification.

There is no need to promote my beliefs because I am not trying to create a faith tradition. What I do is what I do and what comes from that is ultimately who I am. I'm not trying to prove anything or impress anyone. I have no agenda in worshiping the way I do. It may sound trite, but I really am simply a traveler on the journey, and my chosen path is the route I follow. My main goal is to unravel this thing called Mystery and to understand a little more deeply what the Universe has in store for me.  I do that by using many different tools and methods; my approach is eclectic. It's not for everyone, nor do I expect it to be.

I don't feel an urgency to define myself or my spiritual practice. If anything I will call myself a Pagan, because I'm certainly no longer Christian, although my fondness for ritual was forged within that particular liturgy. I am more than a bit of a Gnostic because I have no problem reconciling  Monotheism and Polytheism, as well as Theism, Deism, Pantheism, Animism and Humanism. I believe all of these things are important at various times in exploring the Great Mystery. Much of that is tempered with a heavy dose of Jungian thought and analytical psychology.

Because I believe wisdom comes from many sources, I also believe that no one religion or philosophy has all the answers. I do subscribe to the duality of the feminine and masculine divine, and I will personify those when it feels appropriate using the mythology of various gods and goddesses from world's diverse pantheons.

The point I am trying to make is that whatever you do, your expression of spirituality is geared specifically to your personal needs. It doesn't have to follow anyone else's creed or rede to be valid. What is right for you is legitimate and authentic- and no one else need approve. My belief is that if you do whatever you do with integrity. you need not fit anyone else's ethic. Matters of individual conduct need only be limited by the moral standard of "harm none" and be loosely approved by the mores of a polite society.

Therefore I don't often engage in conversation about my personal spiritual beliefs, because, well...they are personal. That's not to say that I won't share my beliefs with someone when sincerely asked, it means I don't feel I need to go about shouting about them. And to be truthful, I really don't care what the next person does or doesn't do, or who they worship or what they believe because it is simply none of my business... frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn unless you are going about causing egress harm to others. If you are blowing up buildings or hijacking airplanes, or trying to legislate your religion into law, I will take notice and action, but really, other than that, I am too busy tending my own garden...and I believe it should be this way. Seriously, everyone needs to just leave everyone else alone and stop the name calling because this isn't kindergarten. Picking at old scabs will never allow wounds to heal.

What has lead to this treatise is the recent grandiose bellowing of several individuals in our community about who they believe themselves to be and what they believe in and call themselves...and my answer is a rather blase, " Who cares?" I'm trying to understand why that should matter or affect me. Who the hell else should care, really? I am satisfied, I am happy, and I am enough.
                                                                              ***
[Point of reference, I posted about this same issue over two years ago here: http://amethjera.blogspot.com/search?q=pagan+enough]

15 Days of Thankfulness: Catching Up

One of the things I love about this project is that it challenges me to be mindful and present in the moment. I have to purposely think about what I am grateful for and then express my gratitude  in a tangible manner- in this case writing. Writing comes easily to me because I am a natural born writer: throughout my life I have written fictional stories for my own amusement,diagnostic and medical treatment reports, teaching plans, technical reports, synopsis for courses, entertainment reviews and magazine articles,dissertations, sermons and blogs...and I rarely suffer from writer's block. No kidding. Most of the time I know exactly what I'm going to write about and have several other ideas on the back burner as well. What I do suffer from is a lack of time-as many of us do who lead full, active lives. "There is not enough hours in the day" may be a bit  cliched, but nothing else describes it as well. It's not a lack of time management- it's a genuine lack of time.

So today's installment of 15 Days of Thankfulness is going to be a  two-for-one in order to catch up, get on track and bring this project home in a timely manner.

Day 11

The subject for today is to select 3 friends who inspire me. I'm going to call in my chips and say that I've already written about a lot more than 3 of these people. It's difficult to just pick 3 because so many people have contributed equally toward inspiring me, and the last thing I want to do is to diminish the contribution of some in favor of others- I would never purposely do that.

The real problem I'm having in choosing is that people inspire me in particular areas- the inspiration is compartmentalized. I have been more than  blessed with the friendship of dozens of people who shine in their own way. They illuminate the dark corners of my life in times when I need to see light, and several of them are always there in the background, ready to shine just as the sun comes up at dawn.

My relationship with Jean ( and later her husband, George) began through Scouting. Jean was one of my Scout leaders, so the potential for being someone to look up to was already in place. One would think differently, but the dynamic of our relationship didn't so much change as morph when I reached adulthood. What was there when I was younger became richer and the layers more deeply defined as I earned the right to equality at adulthood. Jean and I can talk about anything- and often do. Mostly I talk and she listens before imparting wisdom. We have the relationship my own mother and I never had and what should have been there but was lost when my grandmother's alcoholism took her elsewhere. The physical distance has not dampened our relationship because we talk long and often.

Melinda has been nothing short of a blessing in my life every since we met online shortly after JD's death. In the days after that fateful day, I made myself available to listen to John's fans who needed a sounding board or someone to help them sort out just why they were morning so deeply for someone they knew only through his music. Melinda was in several discussion threads and we began to communicate regularly several times a week. Except for brief periods, that has continued for the last fourteen years- and like conversations with Jean, no subject is safe from our examination. Melinda and I finally met face to face in Aspen, Co in the fall of 1998 during the first John Denver Memorial Weekend. We each had separate activities planned for the trip, but after picking her up at the airport, I wanted to do give her something I knew no one else could- I wanted to introduce her to the Aspen JD had shared with me, the place that had inspired him to write and sing-and the place he wanted to come home to from all over the world. We drove out to Windstar Ranch in Snowmass when there was no one else there and then up on the mountain so Melinda could see the same vista JD saw at sunset from his beloved backyard in Starwood.And then we had dinner at the Woody Creek Tavern, which (forgive me) is a local dive that JD and I simply adored...we walked the streets of Aspen late at night talking for hours, and by the time we left nearly a week later, we were friends for life.

I still have these two extraordinary women in my life...and for this I am thankful.

Day 12
I have had trouble exactly following the rules for this challenge because so often I don't select the prescribed number of  three Cordelia had in mine when she created this project. Some rules are made to be broken, and I am a rebel at heart. Not following the rules in this case is my way of making the project my own.

Nature often challenges and enlarges my consciousness. I began my spiritual path because I more keenly feel connected to the Sacred when I am outdoors more than any other place. There isn't a place where I have been out in Nature that I have truly disliked- except one particularly cold, wet camping trip near Hawk Mountain where I was soaked through multiple layers of clothing and several layers of skin until I was quite literally frozen when the temperature suddenly dropped after dusk. The lesson that came from that experience was to not be overly confident of my ability to be comfortable in the wild and take nothing for granted. Ever.  There have been many other lessons-Nature is the quintessential teacher.

Maybe it's because I am a Pisces, but I have always had an affinity for water. I will instinctively seek and find a source of water when I am hiking and usually end up on a river bank or the shore of a lake. I am not a touristy seashore person, but I love the ocean, even in the winter. When I lived about an hour from the ocean I loved walking on the beach in March, when the Atlantic was so cold it would burn your skin.

I am intrigued by sights and sounds of  waterfalls. Very often I'm not content to watch and listen- I want to be inside the falling water.  I am truly a fish! The rush of water soothes mind and spirit. Scientifically. moving water givens off negative ions which stabilize alpha rhythms in the brain- that's why we feels so good near a body of water. I will happily walk in the rain, but as I've gotten older I find I don't like the combination of rain and cold. I can take one or the other- not both.

I also love wind for many of the same reasons; I love the song of the wind and the accompanying tangle of dried leaves, clattering bare branches, and dancing of trees. I always feel clean after being in the wind.

For the gift of all of Nature, but especially water and winds, I am thankful.

         

The Blessed Community

 I left the mainstream Church in my teens and over the years developed a self-styled earth-centered path, one that was more attuned with the seasons and the feelings that came out of that. There was a Spirit, a being to Nature, and I wanted to wanted to learn everything I could about that because it was what authentically resonated within me. I didn't have a name for it; I didn't know it had any name, but I knew what I felt. Looking for information to broaden and expand the spiritual bonds that were developing within me lead me to go looking for ways of doing that. I began talking with like minded individuals- and reading. It was through reading that I found a name for what I was creating and experiencing through the everyday rituals I was doing: Witchcraft. No one was more surprised that I-wasn't Witchcraft something evil and wrong? I had a solid religious grounding from the Catholic Church-I rejected the dogma, but I kept the knowledge of how to perform rituals and apply them to my everyday life. I continued my earth-centered spiritual practices all through college, and after finding an appropriate group, joined a teaching coven: I was now officially a witch. It didn't sit well with my friends who were members of mainstream religions-and not just the Christians. My friend Phyllis- herself a student of the Cabala-nearly had a meltdown, " You aren't a witch!" she screamed, " Witches are malleficia. You are a student of the occult."  I was careful not to use the 'W' word in her presence again for years. To this day she still refuses to change her position on the matter, and so do I, yet our care and love for one another overcomes our differences on this fine point.

Just so you know, I love all things spiritual, so much so that I earned a post graduate degree from an Episcopal seminary and entered the ministry. If I could have just spent my days inside the walls of the first church I was assigned to-the diocesan cathedral, no less- I would have been blissfully happy to have spent my time communing with the Divine and saying the Daily Office. But that's not what ministers do; the job and the vocation extends far beyond Sunday morning, and it plops you down in places that  I never imagined. You get to share the joy of welcoming babies into the family and joining the lives of lovers and burying those you never knew you loved until they were gone. You are fully engaged in community if you are working your ministry anything like you should be. Being a cathedral chaplain was the same as being a priestess of the Goddess- there was no delineation. It was all the Mystery of the Spiritual and connection to the Divine- only the names changed. It was easy for me to adapt: I'd gone into the ministry with a background in Jungian psychology, and I understood the concept of archetypes. Same God/dess-many different names.

Over time I grew impatient and tired with the dogma of the Church: the rules and laws couldn't contain my understanding and connection with the Sacred Imminent. I wasn't a Christian: truthfully I doubt I ever truly had been in any sense of fullness of the meaning because I continued my personal form of devotions all through the time I was  an Episcopalian with no sense of conflict due to my existential concept of divinity... and I still called myself a witch.

I left the Church and the communion of like-minded believers of my own accord, knowing that there was still a place-a community- where I could practice my spirituality. The realization that there was a Pagan community ( yes, capital P, proper pronoun) was nothing short of awesome. There were people like me who had developed their own tradition of worship, some who followed the tradition of a specific teacher, others still who incorporated many forms of occult practice to varying degrees into their own form of worship. This is the way that the spiritual journey works, and I believe it's the way all religion should. Whatever you find meaningful, whatever fills you up and makes you feel whole and recognizes the divine within you is good and right. However you accomplish that- whatever brings you to that place, whatever tools you use or deities you work with will help you find your True Name.It's my belief that  being genuine in your desire and true to yourself  is the first lesson to learn before heading off down your personal Path. You have to be willing to take the journey alone because ultimately, it will just be you. There maybe others following a similar Path, but you are the only one taking that particular journey.Your stregnth comes from knowing what is right for you. You are not responsible for the spiritual formation of anyone else. That is the power of the Sacred Priesthood open to all of us in the Blessed Community.

It is not all fuzzy-wuzzy and feel good. Every now and then you trip over something and occasionally you run into a wall. Sometimes you bleed from your wounds. Eventually you learn how to navigate the path without stubbing your toe. You learn to go around any obstacles in your way because nothing is insurmountable. Having to rip that brand new metaphorical cloak you're so fond of into strips in order to bind your wounds, you limp onward, learning a valuable lesson in detachment in the process. There is a great resounding joy in following this Pagan Path...you are free to blaze your own trail because the Divine doesn't come with a user's manual. In theory, we are a community of Fools willing to step off the cliff into the unknown.

Most important in the formation of community is cohesion, which binds it together. In every community there is always something which is at its core, some thing that is shared.Undeniably  at the core of the Pagan community is individuality to explore, self and other worthiness, and the freedom of creativity. The connection to the gods is limitless in manner and method because the Divine is within each of us, and we are called to recognize the Sacred Mystery there. We have many names for this and many names for ourselves, but I believe we still share those core values as a community. Moving away from those core values takes us out of the authentic community into a pseudo sub-community of chaos where people freely display their 'shadow' selves in a negative manner outside the Divine.The process of deep respect and true listening for the needs of the other people in this community is often sadly lost. The dictation of the ego rises up and consumes us: we lose the ability to listen and give respect.This how the Blessed Community becomes wounded and broken. The battle turns from inside us to one another, and it is a war we will loose in one way or another, because the Blessed Community comes apart at it's foundations because we have allowed it.

Why does it only take a trifling poor excuse like the recent flame fest over the declaration by Christian Day of Salem that he is attempting to rehabilitate the word 'warlock' out of the common vernacular, and as of now choosing to identify as such. There was a major uproar in the Pagan community over what a single individual asked to be called. Isn't this  the community where others have felt free to identify as werewolves, vampires,nightkind, a variety of daemons, reincarnated historical figures and to have Fae-blood- and we have all for the most part sat back and given them the right to do so because we felt we didn't have the right to tell them what to call themselves? There are all sorts of negative connotations connected with those words, too, and we are freaking out about one person wanting to identify as a warlock? Why is this any more controversial than any of the aforementioned, and more importantly,if we are walking our own Path authentically why should we really care? If Christian Day has intentionally chosen to select an identity for himself with more baggage than a passenger train he is free to do so because it is his right: it doesn't mean anyone has to agree or approve. This should have not caused a rift in the community and by now-weeks later-it should be a dead issue. I assure you that for the general public, this is a non-issue and has been forgotten...but our reaction to it has made the Pagan community look like a bunch of petty whiners to the outside world. Put away your Old English Dictionaries, intellectual treatises, and get down off your soapboxes, and take a look around at the damage we have caused ourselves.


For those of us who have thrown off the mantle of mainstream religion, this looks, sounds and feels too close to the stymieing pall of dogma. And I, for one, will have none of it. It's time to tuck away our egos and move on. I find it disheartening that there is a tragedy of epic proportions on the other side of the world that we should be focusing our energy on and instead we are willing to give over our personal power to this subject. There are much more serious issues at hand that should command our attention than what one person in the community chooses to call himself.

Building a community is easy, maintaining it is difficult. Healing it through concentrated effort is a simple action: develop that sense of tolerance you accuse your former faith community of lacking. If we of the Beloved Community are intolerant of those who's truth is different than our own chosen truth, then why do we expect others to do likewise for us?

By Any Other Name

I have always felt a very deep connection to the unseen forces of the Natural World. I think that everything in life is magical, because life is a miracle and much of it is unexplainable- and I think that's right, because that's where faith comes into the mixture, that's where God (whatever you call the Source of Life)comes into it. I think it becomes 'science' when we have an explanation for the unknown and unseen; science is a process of unending discovery. Faith is knowing that there is something there even if it's intangible. Faith is not the same as belief: Belief is what you think you know. Faith adds hope to that knowing.

Before mankind created organized religions, there was Nature. The God/ess of Our Understanding was and still is everywhere. The magic and wonder of Nature was framed for us differently by our primitive cultures, and some of us have never lost that connection even in an Age of Science and Belief.The beginnings of our spirituality and the ritual of the Church was first a part of the ritual and spiritual understanding of Nature. The Church created ecclesiastical ritual through a means of Ceremonial Magic.The Eucharist is a undeniably a magical ceremony when the transmutation of the Body and Blood takes place-otherwise for some it is just a ceremony, a remembrance. Either way is correct. It correlates to the time when our ancestors raised a glass of wine and a bit of grain to the God (s) of their understanding to give acknowledgment and thanks.It's all good in it's purest forms. You do what you believe is right in the form you believe is correct, and so will I, that's where we meet God.

Our modern day medical system came out of our learning to use plants and animals in a special, magical way. No one today would call that 'witch craft', but it was exactly that; it's hedge witchery and herbalism. Alternative medicine has it's roots in hedge witchery and is more closely associated with it because it is less mainstream.

In the late 1940's, Gerald Gardner, a British civil servant and military hero began exploring what he claimed was the 'Old Religion', a belief and faith system born our of worship of the ancient deities with a central Goddess at it's core. In it's day, GG chose to claim it as (British Traditional) Witchcraft. We now know it as Wicca. There are probably as many different forms of Wicca or Witchcraft as there are blades of grass or snowflakes. Each has it's own unique characteristics.

Jews, Christians and Muslims are know as People of the Book, that is, their religious roots are in the same faith and belief systems as Abraham and Moses.For some the Book is the Bible, for others it is the Torah or Koran. Buddhists, Taoists,Shinto, and all native aboriginal religions, fall under the category of Pagan/Heathen. These were faith systems developed by recognition of spiritual deep indwelling, of faith within the person, of what was there of Nature from the day of Creation. Spirit is all knowing, a Oneness.The Latin root Paganus means 'country dweller'. Heathens were traditionally the people living in the heath- the prairies and wild countries. There is no negativity attached to these words,and remained so until they were used as derogatory phrases to distinguish the masses from the 'educated class' of the People of the Book.

End of history lesson, back to me...I believe in the Immanence of Nature, that the natural world is a holy place, and I recognize and celebrate this through rituals and other expressions of spirituality. I believe that Jesus was not only the Son of God, and a great teacher, but that the Buddha is also.... as is every great religious and philosophical teacher through the ages, including Martin Luther King and the present Dali Lama. That makes me a Pagan. Into those beliefs I have incorporated knowledge of divination systems, herbalism,reflexology, and other forms of spiritual expression. By all accounts, that makes me an eclectic practitioner of Earth-centered Spirituality, and if you stretch that a bit further and I have to label it, then yes, I am a technically a witch.( A side piece of information here-all witches are Pagan, but not all Pagans are witches.) Furthermore, I have studied theology and was educated for the ministry, into which I was ordained after graduation. I am licensed clergy and ministered in a mainstream Christian denomination as a chaplain for many years, as I expanded my knowledge of other religions and studied in several esoteric orders. I now am associated with a liberal spiritual tradition that espouses all and every belief system...Pagan, Christian, Humanist and Atheist. I do not share in all of these beliefs with my fellowship members, but I respect their right to their own form of finding God or the answers to the Universe in their own way...and they respect mine. Being a witch or not being a witch hardly ever enters into the picture because it isn't as important to label what I believe as to to be able and willing to share it.